Troy wrote
1 Do people Email me with a request to join my forum site ?
or do people automaticly join?
This depends on how you configured your permissions.
If you select that only members can view, create topics or reply, then they will certainly have to request permission to get access. You should check your permissions to see which groups can do what.
Troy wrote
So how does it work getting people that are not members of my website to join, and how do they join?
You can send the forum link to your friends so that they can visit the forum and try to use it. If you set restrictions (e.g., only members can create new topics/reply), then they will have to request permission first. You will receive an email with the request and instructions on how to proceed.